The events of that day in the woods were kept secret from the town. Their superiors reprimanded Tomas and Henrik that night when they returned with barely half their quota. This resulted in the loss of extra perks they'd been receiving for the past few weeks. That was enough for Gabriel, though he made sure they knew that if they tried anything again, everyone would find out. Apart from sparring, all of them did their best to stay out the other's way, even Kai, which Gabriel found strange. If he allowed himself to think rationally with Kai, he might have believed that he had nothing to do with Tomas and Henrik attacking him, but his bitterness towards him was both clouding his judgement while giving him an edge in training. His resolve to best the others had given him an extra boost. The anticipation of being able to leave this place and all the memories that haunt his waking hours behind was something he desperately desired.

Leading up to the scouts' arrival, they were all given a reprieve from training and hunting to rest up. It was imperative that they be in top condition for their arrival. The time to recover may have seemed like a gracious gesture at first, but after the first day or two all Gabriel could think about was the trials. What they could be. If he were strong enough, fast enough, or smart enough to pass them. Every moment he spent thinking about it allowed more and more doubt to creep into his mind. He spent the next two days in his room, not even coming out to eat. Garret and Sienna were becoming increasingly worried. They'd come by the door every few hours with food, but Gabriel never opened his door or answered their calls. "Gabriel, please, you need to eat something to keep your strength up." Garret pleaded often from the other side of the door, while Gabriel sat at the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the wall. His hair had become greasy and stuck up in odd places from remaining unwashed, and he had the beginning of a patchy beard. His clothes smelled ripe from being worn for four days straight. "Gabriel, dear, it's Mum. Please open the door, we miss seeing you." They were just about ready to break down the door and force-feed him. He couldn't answer them even if he wanted to. A sort of trance had taken over him, or possibly hallucinations. He wasn't sure what the difference was. When he looked up, he saw the stars fluttering around, making shapes. It was the most beautiful thing Gabriel had ever seen. What I would do to see them up close, he thought, but to get that close would be blinding. Suddenly he was falling back, but not onto his soft feather bed, onto something wet and green. When his back hit the ground, he became aware that he was no longer in his room, but in a grass field at the edge of town. Confused, he sat up and took in his surroundings. It was night, the sky was clear and filled with a clear view of the stars above. At least that part was real. He got to his feet, intending to walk back home when he spotted a silhouette in the distance. It was coming towards him. "Gabriel, is that you?" He could never forget that voice. "Lucy!" he said with a smile.

"Gabriel, where have you been? Your parents are looking for you."

"Just admiring the stars, I haven't been gone long, have I?"

"They've been searching for you all night, you disappeared from your room," she said, her face obscured by darkness. "They thought you must have climbed out the window."

He tried to remember how he got there, but everything till touching the grass was blank. "Yeah, I must have."

She could see the confusion on Gabriel's face. "Are you alright? You look lost and filthy."

"No, I'm fine, it's just," he wondered what she was doing all the way out here. "Have you been out looking for me?"

"Of course I have," she said in a reproachful tone. "Your parents came round looking for you, saying you hadn't been eating. That you had locked yourself away in your room for days. I was worried," her voice became soft and welcoming, mixed with fear. He missed the sound of it more than he knew.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's been going on these past few days."

"It's not just these past few days, though. You're different, changed. We were friends, why did you have to go away?"

"I...I don't think now's the time for this. My parents are waiting," he took a few steps away. Would have sprinted as fast as he could to avoid this discussion if it wasn't so dark.

"No, I need to know, to understand," she pleaded as she blocked Gabriel's path.

"Don't you already? I saw you that night outside the tavern. I know you heard everything," Gabriel said accusingly.

"That was just Kai being insecure. I know you don't really feel that way about me, not anymore?"

"Do you want me to lie?" Gabriel said, unsure of what she was hoping from him.

She turned away from him with her hands on her head. Gabriel clenched his jaw in frustration and continued walking back to town. Lucy's shouting from behind him stopped him once again. "So, what, for that you want to take Kai's place in the Order, because he...took yours with me?"

"No," Gabriel turned back briefly, "because it's killing me," before turning back and continuing back into town.

His parents met him at the town line. Sienna rushed to him with a blanket. He allowed her to cover him with it while Garret stood and watched like a statue. Even as they walked past him, Garret didn't say a word, just stared sternly at Gabriel. Sienna walked with Gabriel the rest of the way home with her arms around him, guiding him as if he were unable to get there himself.

When they stepped inside, Gabriel became aware how long it had been since he'd last eaten. His stomach groaned when he saw what must have been that night's meal waiting on the dining table for them. "Are you hungry?" Sienna asked softly. "Famished," Gabriel replied with a feigned smile. It felt as if she expected him to break down if she wasn't careful. After getting into his chair, she finally left his side and sat down on the other side of the table. Gabriel filled his plate as much as he could before digging in. After days without eating, everything had a heightened taste to it. It was the best meal he'd ever had in his life, if only he didn't have to starve himself for it to always taste this way.

By the time his plate was empty and his belly full, Gabriel felt like himself again. "Thanks, Mother, it was all delicious."

"I expected as much, the speed you were going," she said with a light laugh.

Gabriel wiped some gravy from his chin, realising how odd he must have looked. "I'm sorry for the past few days, I've not been myself."

"We have been so worried!"

"I know, it's not right that I put you and father through that. It's just nerves, I think."

"About the trials? Honey, if you're so worried about them you'd starve yourself, then maybe you should not do them," his mother pleaded.

"NO," Gabriel shouted to the shock of his mother. He quickly apologised and tried to make her understand. "I'm sorry, that was unexpected. But I can't quit now, not with everything being so close."

"Why do you want to leave us so badly?" she asked with misty eyes.

"It's never been about leaving you or Father. I just can't see myself living out my life here. The thought of it is terrifying, and I know in my heart that I'm not meant to stay here forever." With that, Gabriel had had enough of talking about it. They had been going on and on, having the same argument for weeks. He stood up to go to his room and sleep. "And what if they don't take you, then what will you do?" His mother shouted as he reached the stairs. "Then I'll go out on my own."

As Gabriel tried desperately to put his argument with his mother out of his mind and find sleep, he overheard talking below. It was wrong to eavesdrop. He did anyway. They were talking about him. Three of them. He recognised Margrett's raised voice. Lucy's mother. She was angry, demanding to know why Lucy had returned home to her in tears.

"All that boy gives her is grief," she said.

"He means well," Sierra replied in her usual conciliatory way.

"Does he? That's not what I see. Following her and Kai around, stirring up trouble."

"What do you-"

"He is going through a difficult time," Garret broke in. "They all are...with the trials coming-"

"I don't care about the trials," Margrett's voice rose higher, "I care about my daughter. And your son is clearly not good for her."

"Surely, you don't mean that. They have been friends since children," Sierra replied.

"Not for a long time. This thing between him and Kai...and putting Lucy in the middle...it's not fair to her."

"It will pass," Garret said. "Boys fight; it is the natural way. They'll sort their differences before long."

"I don't care about some petty feud. I want him to stay away from her...perhaps it is good the trials are coming. Maybe if they are both gone-"

"How dare you?!" Sierra said sternly in a tone Gabriel had never heard. "He is my son!"

"Then tend to him...and keep him away from my daughter."

"You come into my house-" Sierra began.

"If that is your wish," Garret spoke calmly. "With the trials beginning tomorrow, they will both be more than preoccupied. Once we know the results, then perhaps we can all sit down and discuss this. Until then, I will see to it that Gabriel does as you ask."

They spoke more after Margrett left. Beginning with Sierra defending Gabriel, as all mothers do, before turning to them talking of their mutual worry about him. They grew quieter as Sierra began crying.

"I can't lose our boy...he's so young."

"Nothing is decided, he may yet change his mind," Garret consoled.

"He is so stubborn."

"Wonder where he gets that from."

"You! Of course," she replied softly.

"There is a fire in you at times...remember Milton's town hall debate?" Gabriel heard his father chuckle.

"Gods...you'll never let that go," Sierra laughed.

"Took the three of us to hold you back...poor Lyonel covered in wine."

It soon became too quiet for Gabriel to listen any longer. Once all grew quiet, the sweet relief of sleep took him.